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The truth

The truth

Thought the X was gone think again

Dear X
You are super annoying my goodness man! i have already gone through ‘six degrees of separation’!! So now am on the other degrees of moving on but sadly you pop up unexpectedly making me very off my usually zen game.
I don’t blame you though i blame myself …hold up, no SIR!! I BLAME YOU! Yes you for looking me up i mean seriously trolling your contacts to find me? Sad dude, sad.
So today for a few hours i was off my game but i listened to some power jams and had some very hateful conversations with my sisters and friends, now am cleansed and I’m back!
So i guess needed this to reinforce I’m not dead inside and i can get back up on that horse known as ‘backwards never’. So venting aside good luck to you but next time, give me no heads up just forget you ever met me at all.

Mischievous Baby whilst I mourn loss of World Cup

So the world cup made me cry. Oh how could Germany win. I was in deep denial but I’ve dealt with it. Nway now am dealing with an adventurous babay who is playing with water and getting up to mischief like eating my lipstick. How fast they grow now an locking up my makeup coz baby wants to try it on. Goodness gracious one day she will be a teenager. ” take a breather just calm down” is what am telling myself when i find myself spiralling out of control.
So am trying not to sweat but this baby has got me on edge so active to my benign laziness. Maybe i should be taking her for walks more to tire her out but that is also another dramatic moment. Me thinks baby will be an actress if her stunts are anything to go by.

Samba World Cup!!

We are halfway through round one of the group stages and we have seen upsets occur perhaps the greatest so far is defending champions Spain’s humiliating defeat to the Netherlands. The ultimate grudge match that left us wondering what the hell was Spain doing the whole 90 plus minutes. As for Netherlands amazing form guys and that’s how you revenge big times. We can only hope Spain will pull up from the pit of humble pie where they were mercilessly left bleeding and do much better as for the current standings they are last place in their group. Another upset was the defeat of Uruguay by Costa Rica perhaps not so bad as Spain’s but they are also bottom of group D. another team reeling in defeat that perhaps we almost expected was England who lost to Italy. England hasn’t been on top of their game for a while and this is definitely a warning.

Enough of defeats we saw amazing wins with world class football. Brazil kicked ass with Neymar showing us what to expect when we want goals, tantalizing magical football. Also Colombia was on form just scoring wonderful goals showing us that football was made for South America nothing of military stiffness just flowing passes and incredible goals. And so the World cup has begun with a bang preconceptions shattered but there is still time to recover or maybe more upsets are on the way. As per today these are the standings for Groups A-D:

(Order is highest to lowest

Group A

  1. Brazil
  2. Mexico
  3. Cameroon
  4. Croatia

Group B

  1. Netherlands
  2. Chile
  3. Australia
  4. Spain

Group C

  1. Colombia
  2. Cote d’ Ivoire
  3. Japan
  4. Greece

Group D

  1. Costa Rica
  2. Italy
  3. England
  4. Uruguay


So i watched the apparent ending of How i met your mother and i was totally diss-a-pointed i felt like that last season was a waste of my viewing time the long dragged out wedding and then the very annoying ending. I loved that show in the beginning but in the end it kinda sucked!!So i will keep the first 5 seasons the others well i’m not so sure but the last one i definately will not bother getting. So sad but goodbye cast we had some major laughs especially the slap bets were awesome. and we definately will suit up Swarley!!

Potty Training

Well it was dramatic there for a second but i can safely say my baby is potty trained!!!Big woop woop. am so overjoyed my little girl is growing up. My goodness it was a bit hairy but with perseverance and patience it was done.Good job baby 


I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately and I must say people have a lot of imagination. I’ve learn what not do when I find an ET and not to go on expedition trips with ego centric dudes. So this has been my month of wonderment, Valentine’s Day just creeping up. I for one have never ever celebrated it coz unless you get the day off it isn’t a holiday. So I just go about my normal day and almost lose my eyesight with the flurry of red everywhere, this year I’m wearing sun glasses. I don’t like dissin this day coz people might think am bitter but in my opinion a day of love is when your significant other surprises you at any day with a lovely gesture that only affirms, not proves that they love you. This would be my holiday in my heart coz of course we still gotta work. But to all those who enjoy Valentine ’s Day more power to you but for those who don’t it’s all good to. 


Today I was remembering about the amount of panic and fear that overwhelmed me when my baby was born. I thought I was ruining her life, her father wasn’t going to be in the picture and I was feeling overwhelmed doing this by myself. Its true sometimes I still feel afraid and I wonder about how life will turn out but the one lesson that has struck me is that they grow up so fast and we need to cherish what little time we have when they are small and they think we are invincible. I also learnt to take it one day at a time, what seems to be a crushing feeling on your heart slowly wears away and we find ourselves haapy at where are. I know I wouldn’t change my life for anyone or anything. I’m happiest when I see her little face looking up at me with a big smile and as she babbles her way through a conversation about her day and I try to understand her made up word or her combined words. I love the hugs and the kisses so full of innocence and amazing love. Right now this is the best place on earth.


Life is hard enough without carrying the enormous weight of disappointment; so drop the load and get moving it’s much easier to see the way forward when I’m are not hunched looking down. So I have disappointed myself, I’ve made peace with it and I’m going on. I’ve disappointed others sadly I can’t make them forget so I’m not stopping to moan am just moving forward

I will never stop being a mom; I will always see my child as a baby no matter how old they are. My baby will keep going through stages throughout their life and I will need to adjust my expectations. What I see for them isn’t what they will want to be and to be a good parent I will need to accept them for what they want to be.

Enjoy spending time with my baby when she likes having me around, coz this stage is so short so maximization principle is what I need. Cram as much happiness so that when she’s older we have already forged a relationship and she will come to me for help . I really hope and pray!!!!
I cannot force relationships, if we are not close its probably coz one of us doesn’t want us to be. I have friends I haven’t seen for years and when we meet it’s like we only saw each other yesterday. Either the spark is there or it isn’t.

Listen to my gut, just like Gibbs I can never go wrong trusting my gut.
I cannot please everyone, with this in mind I have phewed a lot of sighs of relief coz trying to be perfect is too darn tiring. Being myself is way easier and it saves a lot of time and really it’s the only me I can be.

Poachers are disgusting as they are ridding this planet of magnificent animals that are majestic and beautiful. My daughter needs to know that elephants, rhinos, tigers etc live in the wild and are not zoo animals.

Happy birthday to me!!

Ewwww Ian Watkins!!!

i used to listen to Lost prophets and i thought  their music was cool but with the disgusting Ian Watkins revelations am totally disgusted. he used his fame to get access to little children and do the unthinkable. i hope he gets a taste of his own medicine in prison and much more perhaps branding his forehead “Child Molester” worse still he thought all the accusations were ‘mega lolz’ complete idiot and narcissist is what he is. May prison be the hell hole you deserve 35 years is too little for scum like this!

Worse still are the moms who offered their kids to this disgusting predator so as to avoid loosing him. They are going to prison too and may they realize that a parents job is to protect their child from evil not offer their child on a silver platter.

i feel super betrayed and i don’t know if i can separate Lost prophets music from Ian Watkins. I’m happy that he’s behind bars and that another disgusting creep is off the streets!!!

My personal opinion all child molesters should have long prison sentences in general population so they can suffer miserably!!!

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